We all have those days, even when we’re too old to admit it, when we’re nursing secret hurts from bullies it feels no one else can see but us. The isolation and the disbelief don’t make the bullying hurt any less. Just because there aren’t any witnesses doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Your hurts are real. I believe you. And so does my old friend, this nifty flying feline fairy here.

He doesn’t look like much, but he can unleash fairy vengeance like you’ve never seen. Ask him for help, and he’ll be there. He’ll knot their eyelashes together if that’s what you need. He’ll smear an invisible stink on the bottom of your bullies’ new shoes. He’ll ask his trusty monster friend to set up shop beneath their bed, and clean out all the grocery stores of their favorite foods. If they’re far too awful for such niceties, he might even pee in their bathwater. Whatever sort of vengeance he deems your particular bully might deserve.

You won’t get the chance to see him at work, but he’ll tell you all about with cookies and popcorn (and that’s the best part). He’s a good guy. Trust me, I’ve asked him for help a few times myself.