for the kids who get bullied

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We all have those days, even when we’re too old to admit it, when we’re nursing secret hurts from bullies it feels no one else can see but us. The isolation and the disbelief don’t make the bullying hurt any less. Just because there aren’t any witnesses doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Your hurts are real. I believe you. And so does my old friend, this nifty flying feline fairy here.

He doesn’t look like much, but he can unleash fairy vengeance like you’ve never seen. Ask him for help, and he’ll be there. He’ll knot their eyelashes together if that’s what you need. He’ll smear an invisible stink on the bottom of your bullies’ new shoes. He’ll ask his trusty monster friend to set up shop beneath their bed, and clean out all the grocery stores of their favorite foods. If they’re far too awful for such niceties, he might even pee in their bathwater. Whatever sort of vengeance he deems your particular bully might deserve.

You won’t get the chance to see him at work, but he’ll tell you all about with cookies and popcorn (and that’s the best part). He’s a good guy. Trust me, I’ve asked him for help a few times myself.

 

how does a witch get revenge on a wizard?

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She adjusted her hat and cloak, shooing away a slug who wanted a nibble. It was not the first time that lazy, no-account wizard she called a husband turned her to fungus to avoid losing an argument. In fact, she should probably be thankful he didn’t turn her into his own toenail fungus this time. Ugh, the memory still made her shudder.

She whispered a few rhymes and turned back into her usual form – short, squat, and rather dumpy. The epitome of attractiveness for someone in her third century. Her nose had lost its customary wart, but she could pick up a new one in town later. Or not. It gave her an idea for her revenge.

She crept up on her husband, tapped him with her wand, and turned him into a hairy wart she stuck on the end of her nose. Then she spent hours sniffing skunk cabbage, just to drive his allergies wild.

As for him, he passed the time planning his counter-revenge, and pretended not to have a small glow of pride and love for her cunning. After all, this is what he married her for. Romance might last a century or two, but pranks are forever.