the mating rituals of aging widows


Old Mr. Snodgrass lived near the garden on the hill. His failing eyesight and his funny bulbous nose made him a favorite among the local widows, who flocked to his side with little cakes and books he could not read. Mr. Snodgrass, who had trained as an anthropologist and yearned to remain relevant, saw his chance. He hired an assistant and dictated his theories. Together they created his masterpiece; a book entitled The Mating Rituals of Aging Widows.

The local widows were horrified. They stopped bringing him little cakes right away. Mr. Snodgrass lost several pounds before he realized how much those cakes had meant to him. He relented at last, and married the woman who had brought his favorite cakes. Soon after the wedding he discovered she bought them at a corner store. They do not discuss his book.