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tips for spotting hobgoblins in secret and why that’s best

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Over the course of my life, I’ve collected many methods for seeing the fey. As a former little girl, a mother, and a writer, I consider these the tools of my trade. Among my favorites are wearing your jacket inside out, gazing through a hagstone, and washing your eyes with dew at midnight on the summer solstice. My favorite one of all is peering through the natural hole in an autumn leaf.

This method is, in fact, the best way I’ve come across for spotting a hobgoblin unbeknownst to the hob, which is the best way. If they know you’re looking, they might adopt you and start doing your dishes and helping out around the kitchen. In return, they’ll expect you leave out a saucer of milk for them behind the stove. This might seem like a wonderful idea, but here’s where things can get complicated.

One night your cat is bound to discover the saucer and have itself a taste. Hobgoblins turn into boggarts when they lose their temper over the cat stealing their dinner, and the next thing you know kitty’s been turned into a dragon. Now you have to go out and buy a dump truck full of kitty litter every week. This can get expensive, and that’s without the fee of hiring an excavator to empty the stinky thing. Toss in the extra insurance charges for having a fire-breathing pet and suddenly you’re broke, your kitty litter’s overflowing, and you can’t even afford dragon kibble.

Of course, you do get a dragon out of the deal. This may seem wonderful, but be warned, the dragon isn’t guaranteed. I had a friend whose cat was turned into a saber toothed tiger after drinking her hob’s milk. I miss her. If only I’d told her about the holey autumn leaf.

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can you solve the autumn puzzle?

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Legend has it, if someone can solve the autumn puzzle and return each leaf to its proper place upon the tree, she or he will be granted their dearest wish. I’m not sure how many, if any, have succeeded, but more than once I’ve been tempted to try.

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Paige and the not-so-boogeyman

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She peeked over the edge, hoping to count the rings in the stump and figure out how old the tree had been. She never expected a goblin to be staring back at her. With a shriek, she ran and hid behind the nearest tree.

“Wait! I’m sorry! I know I’m spooky-looking, but I never meant to scare you!”

The girl poked her head out from the tree, taking another look from her safer distance. The monster’s mouth opened into a terrible, splitting gash, but she supposed it wasn’t his fault. “Have you ever lived under a bed?”

“No, just this old stump.”

“Do you know the boogeyman?”

“Never heard of him.”

She took a step towards him. “Promise you won’t eat me?”

“I promise.”

“Okay, then.” She hopped over and grinned into his horrible face. “I’m Paige.”

 

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the blush of the red maple

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“Dad, how come some trees turn red like that?”

“They’re shy.”

“Shy?”

“Yeah. It’s autumn, and everyone knows all the leaves fall off the trees in autumn. Look, some of them have already started.”

“So?”

“So, the trees know they’ll be naked soon. The shy ones are blushing.”

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the spoils of autumn

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The leaf looked around, bewildered. One moment he was wafting on the breeze at the end of his favorite branch, the next he tumbled down into some sort of wet impressionist painting. Sure, he had a few friends with him, but still. He didn’t imagine the painter would be glad to see a bunch of renegade leaves stuck in his painting after it dried. Arms and legs would come in handy at a time like this.

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the trouble with pregnant tomatoes

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The gardener muttered to himself and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Tomatoes aren’t supposed to get pregnant.” He’d tried some of those newfangled heritage varieties with that hippie fertilizer his son was always going on about. Organic – that’s what he called it. The gardener shook his head. “All-natural,” his son said. Yep, he bet. Lotsa things were natural, he reckoned, didn’t mean he wanted his tomatoes gettin’ knocked up.

 

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life in the clouds

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Every day, before getting dressed, she tucked her dreams into a secret cloud she hid in the back of her dresser. There they were safe from the discouragement of the day, the darkness of storms, and the heartbreak of growing up.

They clustered together, but they never grew tangled. They held each other up, but they never held each other back. Once or twice, a dream slipped away and came true. Those dreams were whispered about in hallowed tones.

Most of the dreams spent their whole lives inside their little, secret cloud. She took them out at night and followed them through the jungle of her slumber. These were the ones that she loved best on the far side of her life, the ones she shared with her children and her grandchildren. Dream by dream, she passed them on.

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For Rent

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Loft apartment available in trendy neighborhood. Excellent view in winter, well shaded in summer, spectacular in autumn. Within flying distance of local bird feeders, summer berries, and water sources. Nearby dog offers reasonable protection from cats. Features include shelter from rain, nest style bedding, and live-in termite superintendent. Please apply in avian with a minimum of three overwintering references.

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the sap, the tree, and the lioness

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Sap dribbled from the gash, as tawny in color as the eyes of the lioness who made the wound. She still slept in the tree’s shade, and he couldn’t help but wonder at the unfamiliar beast, so much bigger than the domestic cats that often frequented this part of the forest.

The old tree couldn’t know her as the old lioness who escaped when the zoo truck which carried her broke down not far from there. He couldn’t know how much danger she might be in. Nor could he knew she would never be able to survive on her own. He just kept her cool until the zoo folk arrived and took her home again. He often wonders what became of her.